Loss: Momentary Interruption

The loss of material things and people can be undaunting,  it leaves you with such a void. You become lifeless,  not able to breathe.   I begin to wonder about the Whys? The what ifs?  You sink into a period of depression, where all you want to do is pull the covers over your head and never get out of bed; hoping that by the time morning comes things will not seem as bleak.  I thought to myself,  here I am ready to bask in my senior years and I’m losing the things I’ve worked so very hard for.  Do I fold and give up or do I stand and fight?  Well, my friends, ¶this was a time that I had to fold and give up.  Good decision or bad decision, who knows.  The only thing I can tell you is that it was a decision.  I could have remained stagnant and waited for the ax to drop.  I could have done like so many others, waited for the Marshalls to come and evict me out of my home, sitting my things on the street to be stolen or weather beaten.  I could not do that I had amassed some nice furnishings over the years, and anyway, what a waste.   Instead, I was offered an opportunity to move in with my son and his family.  You see, he had gotten a major promotion with his company, but it meant relocating.  When he first asked me to move with them, my immediate reply was an emphatic no.  Moving to another state meant leaving my friends.  And anyway what parent want to move in with their adult child.  I had been the breadwinner, the sole provider for myself and two sons.  I put one through a 4-year private college and the other had the pleasure of going in the front door and walking out the back door of several schools, never finishing but always starting, lol. I managed to have a couple of rental properties.  I thought I was doing pretty good until the bottom fell out.  And here my son want me to pack up my things and move to another state which meant meeting new people, make new friends, getting acclimated to a new community.  I think I cried a month just thinking about how I felt so devastated.  This was a feat I wanted no part of….But he began his new position in Florida immediately before he left he gave me 6 months to decide.  He would be back in June to move his family and he hoped I would be going also.  The long delay for his move was to give his children time to finish up the school year with their friends.  You see one was a Junior in high school and the other was headed to high school.the new school term.  Plus, it gave my daughter in law and my grandchildren time to wear me down and move with them. Tho it was something I did not want to do. Crying wasn’t helping.  Standing still and doing nothing wasn’t an answer nor was staying in bed pulling the covers over my head and crawling into a neonatal position and sleeping wasn’t  helping.  There were a few times I thought I had solved my financial woes only to be disappointed.

Now, if financial problems weren’t enough, now I  have to think about my health.  Blood Pressure sky high.  Weight sky high.  And Depressed.  My health was failing.  Stress can definitely kill you.   What a lot of people don’t realize is that financial crisis can be so devastating that you can develop serious health problems behind it.  So now I have two challenges:  Financial and Health!  Wow! what’s a person suppose to do?

Well by the time June rolled around I was packing boxes, giving away items, preparing to relocate. I am preparing to leave a 6000 square foot all brick home.  My son traveled a lot with his job and my daughter in law’s position kept her busy, so grandma came in handy with two teenagers.  I will tell you now, it was the move, new surroundings, my grandchildren, the friends that I made and the old friends that I reacquainted with that helped me to take my shackles off and reset my button.  Next issue I will outline some of the things I did to reset my button.

 

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245 thoughts on “Loss: Momentary Interruption

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